Conflicted

Conflicted feelings. They are the worst. And I’ve been full of them this week. Every time I look at the news I can feel myself breaking in two like a Kit-Kat.

The most powerful example of this was on Thursday when Obama gave Biden the Presidential Medal of Freedom. It was brilliant to watch and warmed my heart after that press conference the day before. The way Obama surprised him and then Joe teared up and they all hugged and had the best time. But then a little sinister voice in my head wouldn’t let the good times sail by without exception.

The thing is it all came off very best pals. You could basically hear them scream ‘You were the greatest’, No, you were the greatest’. Obama even granted him it with distinction. Don’t get me wrong I one hundred percent believe Biden has been an exceptional Vice President but if Bush had given this honour to Cheney then I’m under no illusion that I’d be screaming my discontent from the rooftops. Then again, Biden never shot anyone with a rifle whilst serving so he probably deserves it more.

Then over the weekend, civil rights icon John Lewis announced he wouldn’t be going to the inauguration next Friday. Again my heart was rallying in support for Lewis’ idealism. Trump, to him, is not a legitimate President and so he will not be attending the swearing in. Now I completely agree with him that ‘the Russians participated in helping this man get elected, and they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton’. However, Trump still won the majority in the electoral college and that – as seemingly unfair and illogical as it is – is the only criteria that he needs to be a legitimate President.

American democracy is founded on a system of checks and balances so for the democracy to work; every part has to its job. For me, it is important that congress use the appropriate and formal frameworks in place to challenge the policies of Trump. Congress must watch him like a hawk and if he does anything which threatens the legitimacy of the office then they should impeach him. But to cry foul and not engage in institutions and ceremonies from the very beginning threatens your legitimacy when something tangible comes up. It will be easy to label you as nothing more than an obstructionist hell bent on bringing an innocent man down.

Even writing that paragraph brings to the fore that discontented feeling within me. As I type I can literally hear my body scream ‘but actually being obstructionist is exactly what the Republicans did to Obama.’ And it is absolutely true. Obama was ridiculously hounded throughout his first term. They demanded that he prove that he was born in America. Not to mention that you’ll find no shortage of small minded behaviour from the Grand Old Party over the past eight years. Mitch McConnell once even filibustered his own bill when the Democrats attempted to work with him. Not to mention the blatant refusal to engage with Obama’s supreme court nomination this past year because they were playing out the clock in the hope of a Trump presidency.

Of course, that’s exactly what happened. The genuine compromise candidate in Merrick Garland will be thrown to the wind and by February, we will no doubt have a conservative with a horrid track record on women’s right as the nominee. But two wrongs don’t make a right. I don’t even say this as a moral argument. Twain’s advice on arguing with a fool comes to mind – don’t do it because they’re more experienced and will win. If both parties decide to play the obstructionist game, then absolutely no one wins but the poorest and most vulnerable suffer the most.

Obama, perhaps the best politician of his time, completely gets this. It was bittersweet watching his farewell address. In all that he said, I could find myself cheering him on. Part of me feeling guilt that I may not have fully appreciated what I had before I lost it. Even in a mostly sentimental speech he reminded us that everyone – even if the middle aged white man – has challenges to face and that we move forward as a society when we recognise that.

The contrast between the outgoing President and the incoming one is startling. Trump’s press conference on Wednesday was one point in the week that I did not feel conflicted at all. As it went on, I only became more anxious at what awaits America over the next four years. Regardless of his feelings towards a particular news organisation, he cannot refuse to take their question. If he continues to do this as President, it is an obvious threat to American democracy. It was a shocking moment and the surprise from the assembled press was visible even through a television screen. Added to that was the presence of Trump supporters who would loudly clap and boo when required.

The truth, though, is that this man will be the President on Friday. Action will be needed to reduce his ability to reduce his harmful behaviour. ABC news asked the question that the CNN reporter was denied. It is small acts of defiance like this that must be taken. It will require everyone to do their jobs and ensure that they are not being undermined. If they are then we must all work to protect them.